My cousin got married, and the excitement was high—because in a typical Ashkenazi family, this is about as rare as a solar eclipse.
During the event I zigzagged between guests, danced on the floor, and chased after my kids. Only late at night, when I collapsed into bed after a few Campari cocktails, did I remember: I forgot to give the check.
The shame!
At record speed, half-asleep, I grabbed my phone and immediately transferred the money to my cousin via Bit. In the payment description, I wrote:
“Mazal Tov, from Shani & Liav ❤️”
Just like that.
So what’s the story with wedding gifts from the user’s (guest’s) perspective?
Why, in the era of digital payments, are checks—or cash in an Ehud-Olmert-style envelope (!) that must be locked in a safe (!!) and deposited the next morning lest it be stolen (!!!)—still the dominant form of payment in Israel? How is it that in 2025 we still don’t have a great user experience for wedding gifts?
A quick survey I ran for this post revealed a generational gap.
Gen Z doesn’t even hold the dinosaur-era payment method known as a check. They transfer money via Bit or PayBox directly to the bride or groom and think nothing of it. If it’s someone from a more distant circle, they’ll use a credit card payment link—an external service that charges a somewhat outrageous fee (2.7% of the payment versus a bank cap of 1.80 NIS)—and swallow the fee with a bit of alcohol.
Gen Y will use a credit link because it makes life easier for everyone (no hunting for a checkbook, no ATM stops), or they’ll stick with a check because that’s the norm they grew up with. They won’t transfer via Bit or PayBox unless it’s a dedicated event link created by the couple. Otherwise, it feels slightly inappropriate—reserved for immediate family or friends close enough to be holding the chuppah poles.
Gen X pays in cash or by check—and is mildly disappointed there’s a buffet instead of table service.
So how might we design this service better?
Low fees – Fees absolutely matter, especially for young people whose wedding invitations increase in inverse proportion to their income.
A sense of celebration – People want the process to feel less like a “payment” or a “fine” and more like a gift. Personal touches—writing a heartfelt note (even handwritten), adding a shared photo—can transform the experience from transactional to meaningful.
Meaning – In Israel, people still joke about receiving serving platters and soda siphons as wedding gifts. Abroad, however, wedding registries are common: the couple prepares a curated list of items from a specific store, and guests choose what they’d like to give. Prices can range from a yoga mat to high-end appliances.
Another option is directing guests to a shared savings fund toward a larger goal—like a honeymoon or a future home. The most meaningful version I’ve seen? Guests donating to a cause the couple supports (in one case, a fund for rehabilitating soldiers wounded in the war in Ukraine).
At events planned down to the last detail—weddings, bar/bat mitzvahs, britot—perhaps it’s time to rethink the guest and host experience: not just how to transfer money, but how to design a personal moment that truly feels like giving and receiving a gift.
Either way—mazal tov.